Making changes without support is hard. It’s one thing to get motivated to find more fulfillment when your family is supportive and entirely another thing if they aren’t. Change can be hard – especially when people don’t agree with your choices. Someone else’s fear or resistance doesn’t mean you can’t be, do, or have the things that you know will make you happy.
There are many reasons why people don’t get onboard someone’s fulfillment train. If you’ve evaluated your life and have decided to make some changes, you have every right to expect support from those closest to you.
Here’s what you can do when you are making changes to encourage their support:
Share how you feel.
If your plan for changes is radical, you may need to share how you feel and why you need their support with those closest to you. Allow others to ask questions and see where their objections lie. A lot of times people resist what they fear or don’t understand. The better you can understand what their objections are, the easier things will be. The more they understand the motives you have behind the change, the easier they can accept your changes.
Some changes can include everyone. If you’d like to regain a healthier lifestyle, you can include the whole family. If you want to take up tap dancing, why not see if they do too. At the very least, they can come to watch you perform. Sometimes people resist change if they feel they will be left out or left behind. Ease their fears by including them in the change.
The best way to get what you want is to help someone else get what they want. There is simply something wonderful about empowering others to be, do, and have the things they want. To the extent you want to make a change and be supported, encourage those closest to you to evaluate their lives and see where they want to make a change, too.
If you’ve done your best to support and encourage others for their own fulfillment and you still experience resistance, there are some appropriate ways to move forward.
Set healthy boundaries.
Sometimes you’ve got to set healthy boundaries and let things play out. You don’t have to fall victim to sabotage or manipulation. Set the parameters that allow you to pursue your changes and maintain your independence without shattering your relationships. Over time, your opponents may become your biggest cheerleaders.
Get the right support.
Somewhere, someone is going to be supportive. Finding a healthy group or person to support your goals can offset the influence of people who aren’t supportive. Find a clan, a posse, or a team that you can celebrate your changes with.
Develop some grit.
Sometimes you’ve just gotta suck it up, buttercup. Some people are not going to agree with you and you need to be prepared for that to be ok. You may have gotten yourself into boredom, anger, or sadness by not owning your own truths and passions. The only way you can get fulfillment is to start developing some grit and standing up for what you want.
Making changes can be hard when you aren’t being supported. At some point, it’s up to you to decide how badly you want to feel fulfilled and purposeful. You can have it all if you are willing to manage the tasks and people that are in proximity to the things you want to be, do, and have.